Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I took a leave from work today, hoping it will prevent me from getting burn-out and praying this "one-day-off" will clear my mind from what's been bothering me for quite sometime.
I left the PhiLs. with a bunch of hope and with so many prayers on my pocket, just 4 months ago. But from NAIA up to here, all I did was cry and think of how can I go home the sooner, the better. Days, weeks, months, pass, I still want to go back. As I've said, I knew it the first time I set foot on this land. I knew it even before I tell it to anyone else. I want it then and I want it now, or I'm having a second thought?
For months I've been looking for an opportunity to go home. Then I suddenly landed a job, something I'd never imagined I will be doing. It was a fun experience though and it pays me better than what I used to earn but the physical fatigue and mental idleness make me wanna go home even more. I miss my "true work". Tha analysis and the entries and the memos and balances. Being the hard-headed girl that I am, even if my mom wants to shoulder my ticket for going home, I still go back to my job and promised myself to buy pasalubong and shoulder my own fare. So, that's it. Another plan I made, another plan I'm doubting, another plan which makes me think a little more.
Today, I'm clear with the fact that I want to go home. But as to the time, I do not know. Circumstances make it hard for me to decide, i.e. telling others about my decision, leaving my love alone and facing the world/life back home ALONE.
Some things are just so confusing. A pocket of prayer is not enough, I need a bagful. =p
But hey, I'm happy where I am. Soon, this phase will be nothing but another memory, another page of sachi's true life. When I look back, maybe this page is something I wouldn't wanna miss afterall.
cheers to that!
Miss Sachi ♥
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